I don't know if you have guessed by now, but my blog posts always come straight from the heart. If something is on my mind, if I'm struggling with something, I come up with a pep talk for myself, help myself through it, and then relate what I have found into an Instagram post, reel or blog post for my longer rambles.
Uncertainty has really been on my mind and heart the last couple of weeks. The uncertainty that surrounds my life and career over the next few months, and generally the uncertainty that the world is in.
I have been seeing uncertainty as this monumentally bad and negative thing that clouds everything and leaves a misty fog in it's wake; a fog crippled with doubt, negativity and foreboding.
I've pondered it in my daily meditation and journalling practises and had a little breakthrough.
If we shift the conversation surrounding uncertainty to welcome all that uncertainty brings with it then we will see it in a whole new light.
Uncertainty brings with it new opportunities: opportunities to try something new, to reflect on where we've come from, to live in the moment, to greet each day with open arms not knowing what it will bring.
Yes, uncertainty can bring feelings of anxiety for people like me who like to have a plan for every occasion and life stage. But I am now accepting and being thankful for uncertainty. There is no other time in my life than my twenties when it is most okay to be uncertain. To test the waters of career paths, to change my mind, to make new friendships and cut old ties.
Live and breathe in the uncertain, and trust that in a few years or months when you have found your way, that it probably was a period of time that was most exciting and where you learnt most about yourself.
They say that nothing is worth doing unless it scares you a little, and uncertainty can definitely be scary. But that is why you should live in it, go for what you don't know, what doesn't lie in your comfort zone.
Lean into uncertainty, and it is there that you will thrive.
Lots of love,
Vicki
x x x
Gratitude, by definition, is 'the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness'.
Why practice gratitude?
Well, good question I hear you ask.
Not only does showing gratitude on a daily basis feel amazing for your mind and those around you, it helps you see the world in a more positive light. There may be 110 things you feel are going wrong around you, but if you are stead-fast in the ones that you are grateful for then the bad things won't harm you so much.
It is so easy to slip into a pattern of negative thinking when:
- You've had a bad day/week/month.
- You are in an unsupportive, negative environment.
- Your body and mind are completely closed off to positive thinking.
Do you find yourself saying yes to plans when you have a million other things to do and you really don't have time but you feel you have to say yes to keep people happy?
Or that you find it difficult to say no to extra shifts at work or going above and beyond what is expected in your job role?
Or do you find yourself blindly agreeing with others' opinions even if you may not wholly agree with them?
It sounds to me like you are a people pleaser. Welcome to the club.
It is so so easy to fall into this trap, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. It means you are likely an amazing, supportive friend; a trusted co-worker; an easy going, easy to get along with member of society. Which is absolutely fab, and if you have no qualms, keep doing you and thriving.
However, keep reading if sometimes people pleasing tires you out and seems to go against your morals even if you can't let anyone see them.
The problem with people pleasing is that you are living life completely on someone else's terms. You are sailing along, accepting everything and not making any enemies or having conflict of any kind. Which is fine, I am not promoting conflict at all. But living life this way has very little meaning and purpose. If you have no opinions, no matter how popular or unpopular they may be, then what are you fighting for? What do you believe in? What drives you?
The opinions of others.
If you are a people pleaser then you are living your life and making decisions based on the opinions of others, which is a toxic and unhealthy way to live.
It is time to take back you power.
The next time someone asks you for something, or expresses an opinion that doesn't sit well with you, I challenge you to speak your mind and truth. Think, will doing this task or going to this social occasion serve you and make you happy, or does it go beyond what is expected of you or you feel you have an obligation to attend out of a fear of being disliked?
By going with you gut instincts you will also begin to realise who comes to you only when they need something from you, or only to gossip and spread rumours.
Also, I find that by knowing your worth and setting values for yourself people actually respect you more and value your opinion.
At the end of the day living according to the opinion of others will never be a fulfilling existence because people will never be 100% happy with what you're doing. They'll always expect more, or under-appreciate what you have sacrificed or gone out of your way to do for them.
So why waste time living on someone else's terms when you can be your own best friend and give yourself the love and respect that you so deserve?
Now this does not mean cutting off good friends and standing up to your boss to the extent that you lose your job. Please do not tell your boss to do one.
It is about recognising when a situation serves you and makes you content & peaceful; and when you're only doing something because someone told you to. Listen to your gut, it is very rarely off in my experience. Once you start living life on your own terms, you will feel a weight lifted off your shoulders and immediately your life will feel more purposeful.
I hope you enjoyed my thoughts on people pleasing and it has given you something to think about and implement in your own life today. Do let me know in the comments or DM me on Instagram with your thoughts on people pleasing.
Watch this space for a course that I am currently building that will give you the tools to free yourself and mind to take back power in your life and find your inner purpose and mission.
Much love,
Vicki
x x x
Do you ever feel so run off your feet and overwhelmed with the things you need to get done that you don't know where to start and end up getting absolutely nothing done at all?
Same girl.
I am here to share with you the daily habits I have put in place for when I am busy and beginning to feel overwhelmed.
1) Gather your get-to-do list the night before. No point spending extra time in the morning or later in the day still compiling everything you need to get done that day. If you spend an extra 5 minutes in the evening at your desk writing tomorrow's list then you will wake up with a clear intention of what you need to complete that day.
2) Colour code important tasks. I have pastel highlighters (which are so aesthetic and cute), and I use a coding system of tasks that need to be completed that day (pink), tasks that are lower importance (blue) and then tasks that are ongoing (green). I will also rule down the side of a page to create a grid of boxes for me to fill in whether I have completed the task, it is ongoing, or it has been moved to the next day's get-to-do list.
3) Plan your outfit/s the night before. Have your clothes laid out ready. This is an especially good practice for if you need extra motivation to get out for that morning walk/run. If your clothes are staring at you in the face when you wake then you will be more likely to grab them and go. This goes for everyday clothes or your work outfit. You will spend less time stressing over what you will wear that day and be able to quickly get on with your to-do's.
4) Set reminders and calendar updates on your phone. In this day and age who doesn't have their phone on them at least 80% of the time? If you struggle with keeping up to date with paper planners, then why not set reminders in your phone for important events and tasks that you must do. You can set reminders for specific times so that if you happen to forget an important deadline, then your phone will ping and you will be spring to life to complete it.
5) Get up 10 minutes earlier to carry out a mindful routine in the morning. Mindfulness is all about being present in the here and now, it will help you cope with feelings of overwhelm and stress. Your stress has roots in events that haven't even happened yet and often arise from situations we make up in our brain for if a task does not have it's desired outcome. Eg. If I don't get this task completed by this certain time then the world will fall around me and my boss will shout at me. Taking 10 minutes in the morning to practise meditation and deep breathing will help you root yourself in the present, and allow yourself to focus on the immediate task at hand rather than the never ending list you have beside you.
I hope that some of these ideas helped you somehow, let me know in the comments if you found them useful ♡
Lots of love,
Vicki
x x x





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