Or that you find it difficult to say no to extra shifts at work or going above and beyond what is expected in your job role?

Or do you find yourself blindly agreeing with others' opinions even if you may not wholly agree with them?

It sounds to me like you are a people pleaser. Welcome to the club. 

It is so so easy to fall into this trap, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. It means you are likely an amazing, supportive friend; a trusted co-worker; an easy going, easy to get along with member of society. Which is absolutely fab, and if you have no qualms, keep doing you and thriving. 

However, keep reading if sometimes people pleasing tires you out and seems to go against your morals even if you can't let anyone see them. 

The problem with people pleasing is that you are living life completely on someone else's terms. You are sailing along, accepting everything and not making any enemies or having conflict of any kind. Which is fine, I am not promoting conflict at all. But living life this way has very little meaning and purpose. If you have no opinions, no matter how popular or unpopular they may be, then what are you fighting for? What do you believe in? What drives you? 

The opinions of others. 

If you are a people pleaser then you are living your life and making decisions based on the opinions of others, which is a toxic and unhealthy way to live. 

It is time to take back you power.

The next time someone asks you for something, or expresses an opinion that doesn't sit well with you, I challenge you to speak your mind and truth. Think, will doing this task or going to this social occasion serve you and make you happy, or does it go beyond what is expected of you or you feel you have an obligation to attend out of a fear of being disliked? 

By going with you gut instincts you will also begin to realise who comes to you only when they need something from you, or only to gossip and spread rumours. 

Also, I find that by knowing your worth and setting values for yourself people actually respect you more and value your opinion. 

At the end of the day living according to the opinion of others will never be a fulfilling existence because people will never be 100% happy with what you're doing. They'll always expect more, or under-appreciate what you have sacrificed or gone out of your way to do for them. 

So why waste time living on someone else's terms when you can be your own best friend and give yourself the love and respect that you so deserve? 

Now this does not mean cutting off good friends and standing up to your boss to the extent that you lose your job. Please do not tell your boss to do one. 

It is about recognising when a situation serves you and makes you content & peaceful; and when you're only doing something because someone told you to. Listen to your gut, it is very rarely off in my experience. Once you start living life on your own terms, you will feel a weight lifted off your shoulders and immediately your life will feel more purposeful. 

I hope you enjoyed my thoughts on people pleasing and it has given you something to think about and implement in your own life today. Do let me know in the comments or DM me on Instagram with your thoughts on people pleasing. 

Watch this space for a course that I am currently building that will give you the tools to free yourself and mind to take back power in your life and find your inner purpose and mission. 

Much love,

Vicki 

x x x

Do you ever feel so run off your feet and overwhelmed with the things you need to get done that you don't know where to start and end up getting absolutely nothing done at all? 

Same girl. 

I am here to share with you the daily habits I have put in place for when I am busy and beginning to feel overwhelmed. 

1)  Gather your get-to-do list the night before. No point spending extra time in the morning or later in the day still compiling everything you need to get done that day. If you spend an extra 5 minutes in the evening at your desk writing tomorrow's list then you will wake up with a clear intention of what you need to complete that day. 

2)  Colour code important tasks. I have pastel highlighters (which are so aesthetic and cute), and I use a coding system of tasks that need to be completed that day (pink), tasks that are lower importance (blue) and then tasks that are ongoing (green). I will also rule down the side of a page to create a grid of boxes for me to fill in whether I have completed the task, it is ongoing, or it has been moved to the next day's get-to-do list. 

3) Plan your outfit/s the night before. Have your clothes laid out ready. This is an especially good practice for if you need extra motivation to get out for that morning walk/run. If your clothes are staring at you in the face when you wake then you will be more likely to grab them and go. This goes for everyday clothes or your work outfit. You will spend less time stressing over what you will wear that day and be able to quickly get on with your to-do's. 

4) Set reminders and calendar updates on your phone. In this day and age who doesn't have their phone on them at least 80% of the time? If you struggle with keeping up to date with paper planners, then why not set reminders in your phone for important events and tasks that you must do. You can set reminders for specific times so that if you happen to forget an important deadline, then your phone will ping and you will be spring to life to complete it. 

5) Get up 10 minutes earlier to carry out a mindful routine in the morning. Mindfulness is all about being present in the here and now, it will help you cope with feelings of overwhelm and stress. Your stress has roots in events that haven't even happened yet and often arise from situations we make up in our brain for if a task does not have it's desired outcome. Eg. If I don't get this task completed by this certain time then the world will fall around me and my boss will shout at me. Taking 10 minutes in the morning to practise meditation and deep breathing will help you root yourself in the present, and allow yourself to focus on the immediate task at hand rather than the never ending list you have beside you. 

I hope that some of these ideas helped you somehow, let me know in the comments if you found them useful ♡

Lots of love, 

Vicki 

x x x

Rejection sucks. There is no denying that. 

In every single walk of life you will undoubtedly be faced with rejection. Whether that is rejection from a job application, a potential love interest, an audition or a friendship. Whatever the situation, it does not feel good. If I ever meet someone who has never ever encountered a single piece of rejection in their life then I will personally congratulate them!

I recently started a business venture that I began excited about, but after a few months came to realise that it wasn't exciting me anymore, instead it felt like a chore, and the constant rejection and setbacks made me disheartened. The rejections served a purpose though, a purpose that I will talk about later in this post. 

Even though rejection is tough, there are ways to deal with it that can soften the blow. I have written a few of my top tips for rejection in this post that hopefully you can come back to when the lil monster comes a-knockin' again. 

1. Learn to sit with the rejection. Sit with the feeling of hopelessness, disappointment, confusion. Whatever emotion immediately hits you when you feel rejected. Really feel the pain, and sit with it. This may feel counter-intuitive but trust me, accepting and facing the pain head on is the best way to work through it. Avoiding the feeling only makes it last longer and also more likely to rear its head in an awkward situation, causing you to burst out crying in the middle of Tesco aisle 3. So allow yourself to feel all the feels, it is completely normal to do so. And then if you encounter rejections in the future you know exactly what to expect and will learn to better deal with the feeling as it comes on. 
2. Do not wallow. Okay hear me out, I am saying to sit with the emotion, but not too long that you wallow in your sadness and lose your sense of purpose and drive. There is a difference between feeling the sadness for a few hours or days, and letting it completely consume you. Once you've had your period of sadness or disappointment, understand that every rejection leads to an opportunity, and even though it may feel like it, it is not the end of your world. 
3. Try not to fixate on what you could've done differently or better. Too many times have I come out of an audition or job interview barely remembering what went well because I am so focused on what I did horribly wrong. Even if you think it has gone well and you are still rejected, you then start thinking oh was it something I said, was it how I look? Realise that often rejections have nothing to do with you. They have everything to do with the person or company doing the rejecting. You are not the right fit, not what aligns with them at this current point. And what you need to realise is that they are most probably doing you a favour. Out of every rejection comes an opportunity to grow and to re-direct your energy towards something else. If you follow these tips then you will get to a period where you are actually thankful for rejection. Crazy, right?
4. Accept that the universe has a plan. Even if you don't know why and it sucks and hurts and you feel like the walls are falling down around you, this happened for a purpose. The amount of people I have spoken to that have been rejected from a job, a certain university, a relationship, and it felt soul crushing at the time, but a year or even less later they can see why that didn't work out and how they are better off for it now. Rejection is always always always leading you to something else, something better. 
5. Lastly, do not give up. Do not let this rejection be the reason you stop chasing those dreams. Rejection does not mean you are stupid, does not mean you're not good enough, not pretty enough, not successful enough, not educated enough. Get back on the horse and try and try again. You will be glad you did when you receive success at the end of the tunnel. Just know that you can return to this post over and over again as and when you need it. We all need a little pep talk now and then, so return whenever you need, and then march on out with your head held high, and try again.